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Happy Day! This is a little late, but I'm still here!

A drunk in a bar barfs all over himself. "Giddman", he says. "I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she's gonna kill me". "No problem", says the bartender, as he sticks ten bucks in the drunk's pocket. "Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning...

A man walks into an emergency room with two black eyes and a broken nose. The doctor asks him what happened. "Well," says the man, "I was having a nice round of golf with my wife. She sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around, I noticed that...

A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I’m sorry, but he died last week." The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week." The next day the guy calls again and...

Sorry Spuds, I stopped keeping up with Civil War until the trade paperbacks come out. Last I saw was Thor's hammer and the foreshadowing that Sparky was coming back. Oh, and I didn't mean to infer that no one else could give him fits. But when it comes to strength vs. strength, the Hulk is...

I thought he came back during Civil War? And yeah, Thor could beat almost anyone, except the Hulk.

A guy out on the golf course took a high-speed ball right to the nuts. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he asked,“How bad is it, Doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé is still a virgin.” The doctor said, “I’ll have to put...

Thanks! Here's one I really laughed at: A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador retriever between them. The first man asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained...

Did anyone notice that the Bears stayed on the field longer than most losing teams? Apparently there was a white powder spread on the field blocking them from the locker rooms. No one wanted to risk crossing it, so they called in the FBI. Turns out it was the end zone.

traditionally, there have always been "gods" in cultures, but that's a broad term. I think they are modern day legends. Some cultures worship their legends (like the Greeks), but others just have wild tales that are told over and over lifting the characters (real or not) into a super-human status.

Bungie has definitely stressed that everything so far is not the final version. Wait until summer, that's when the true version will be complete (they have to have the following months to send it to production so all of us can get one...... right).

I've got no problem viewing it. Maybe it's been resolved already?

Traditional photography is so much better (only very high dollar digitals can match it), but digital is so easy that it is quickly replacing it. For what I do, high quality digitals work best.

A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "Everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job...

Who has the patience to watch baseball?

Backwoods? Banjo? Come on, Asylum. Your brothers make my family look like friggin' royalty. Tripp was on Cops, and Jonathan. . . He's special. We might not be as organized crime as your in-laws, but we get by.

I love the stooges. It kinda reminds me of my family (or Asylum's).

In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest. The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on...

re-furbs wouldn't need to be refurbed if something wasn't wrong. But they are tough little machines overall.

During a concert. I was apart of the tech crew responsible for the lighting and sound. My job was to coordinate between everyone. Once the show was going, I found a stool against the back wall. One of the crew shook my shoulder a little later to ask me a question. I missed about 4 songs.